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Key insights from
You Are a Badass
By
Jen Sincero
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What you’ll learn
Contrary to popular belief, being a badass has nothing to do
with wearing ripped jeans or riding a motorcycle. A true badass is
characterized by having unwavering belief in yourself and what you are
capable of. Your inner badass pays zero attention to the nonsensical fears
you listen to about how you’re not good or strong enough to be and do what
you really want. This book will help you to train your inner badass to work
for you so you can end the self-sabotage and run free.
Read on for key insights from You Are a Badass.
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1. It’s not your
fault that you don’t believe in yourself.
Children internalize information and sensory experiences
through their subconscious minds. The majority of their beliefs about the
way things are or what is true are shaped by the messaging they receive
from parents and society. But what if these beliefs are false? For example,
if your father sighed every time your mom asked him to help with the dishes
or your grandma relentlessly criticized your looks, you might automatically
believe, “marriage is hard” and “I’m unattractive.” Your conscious mind,
which develops during puberty, is responsible for critical thinking,
analyzing information, and making independent decisions about what is true
and false. Now that you’re past puberty, you’d think your conscious mind
would take over—but does it? People tend to blindly follow the beliefs they
establish early in life without ever really questioning them. The good news
is that you can stop blaming yourself for your insecurities and start
consciously choosing new beliefs.
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2. If you want to
change your life you’ll have to change your energy.
The universe is made up of limitless energy. All energy
vibrates at a certain frequency. You and your desires, both conscious and
unconscious, are vibrating at a certain frequency. Your frequency attracts
like frequencies, a phenomenon commonly known as the “law of attraction.”
You can consciously raise your frequency to match the vibration that you
want to tune into. If you vibrate with the energy of awesomeness, that
energy will attract awesome opportunities.
There are many ways to raise our energy, but practicing
being present is a great place to start. Most of us live anxiously,
ping-ponging between past regrets and future fears, totally missing the
limitless energy available to us in every moment. The universe is
overflowing with miracles that can bring us love, joy, happiness, and
connection. If we only realized that what we’re so fixated on becoming and
creating is available to us now: the money, the spouse, the job, the
creative expression . . . everything! Once we are aware of the positive
energy around us, it is just a matter of letting it flow in moment by
moment. By doing this, we escape the endless negative chatter in our heads
and open the door to a richness of life unthinkable.
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3. You’ll attract
more positive energy if you learn to love and accept yourself.
One day we glimpse our infinite potential and the next we
wonder if we are utterly unworthy and incapable. We torture ourselves in
this schizophrenic state for no purpose. Our fundamental value is neither
determined nor shaken by our shortsighted perception. Additionally, it
requires the same amount of energy to reject as it does to accept. To
operate at an optimal energy level, we must choose self-acceptance. Most of
us already do this with loved ones. When a friend does something remarkable
we don’t doubt their value. We think, “Of course they did something
remarkable—that’s who they are.” Does this mean that their lives are
totally free from moments of being unremarkable? Of course not! Our
perception of others is not impeded because we are not experiencing their
internal fears, insecurities, and negative beliefs. It’s easy to have
unwavering belief in them. We can see ourselves with this same heightened
perception. When we do this, we raise our frequency, and attract more and
more positive energy as we go.
We have a lot to learn from children. Children trust their
instincts. When they are hungry, they eat. When they are thirsty, they
drink. Children don’t care what people think about how they look, their
dance moves, or even their likes and dislikes. Most importantly, children
know how to love deeply, without holding back. As adults we lose touch with
our instincts. We are bombarded with a plethora of “shoulds” and
unreasonable expectations from society. Eventually the child-like
enthusiasm is crushed; so, we clothe ourselves with negative beliefs and
fears that only lead to more self-doubt. It is no wonder we end up in pain.
Self-love, put simply, is the process of relearning everything we were born
knowing all over again. When we invest in unloving ourselves, it not only
requires energy, but leaves us in even more pain. It is a vicious cycle. To
turn things around, you only need to invest in something different: loving
yourself. If you do this, you will be astonished at the returns. All the positive
people, opportunities, and experiences that you have been trying to create
will naturally flood into your life. This is the law of attraction: love
yourself and you will be loved.
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4. Listen to your
gut to discover your calling.
Finding your calling is really choosing your calling. If
you’re feeling overwhelmed because of an overabundance of options or just
plain indecision, you’re going to have to start trusting your gut instead
of your head. Your gut, otherwise called “intuition,” is sadly an untapped
resource. For most of us, the thought of listening to our gut sends a
shiver down our spines. In the tireless search for one’s calling in books,
counseling, and cheap advice, we’ve lost touch with our inner guidance. We
must quiet our minds to reconnect with this neglected resource and once we
do it’s just a matter of choosing our first step.
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5. Your thoughts
are the most powerful, life-changing tool at your disposal.
Your thoughts have the power to create or destroy. When you
fix your thoughts on something, believe it is possible, and take decisive
action toward it, odds are it’s going to happen. This does not mean that if
you think, believe, and act like a unicorn, you will turn into one. It does
mean, however, that if you spend your days thinking, “I could never make
more than $50K,” you probably won’t. Start thinking like you’re going to
make $100K by a specific time. When you meditate, make these thoughts the
intention of your practice. Start hanging around people that would
naturally increase the probability of you making $100K. You have to
practice thinking in a way that raises your energy. By doing this, you
increase your chances of attracting the very thing that you are paying
mental attention to. This requires faith. You must choose to truly believe
in the not-yet-seen, that the universe is abundant in resources, and that
your $100K is available. Harness your inner badass and refuse to let
thoughts of being undeserving or insecure take up space in your brain.
Change your thinking and change your life.
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6. Gratitude and
forgiveness are like gateway drugs to awesomeness.
Gratitude is more than the custom of saying “thank you.”
Gratitude is a state of being which is born of an awareness and deep
appreciation for the many miracles of life. Gratitude strengthens your
faith because you have to believe that there are amazing things out there
and choose to be thankful for them, sometimes even before you have
evidence. Practice being grateful and watch how positive energy begins to
flow in and out of you. At the end of each day, make it a habit to either
write out or verbally acknowledge all that you are grateful for.
When we get hurt physically, we take the necessary steps to
heal. But for emotional wounds, we often neglect the obvious remedy. What
is worse, we insist on reopening our wounds by playing the stories of our
hurt on an endless loop in our heads. Our ego is the culprit here. Our ego
is all about making us feel insecure and defensive. Because of this, we
feel the need to continually prove we are right. The feeling of being right
is the highest reward the ego can offer us. Forgiveness provides a far
greater reward: emotional freedom and personal happiness. If forgiveness is
hard for you, start by imagining the person that wronged you as if they
were a little child. Have compassion for them. You must refuse to live in
the shadow of the pain they inflicted upon you. Letting go frees you. There
are many ways to forgive, but the point is you need to wipe the slate
clean, focus on raising your own frequency, and move on. Forgiveness is
within your control. It’s a matter choosing the greater reward of being
happy over being right.
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7. Fear is meant
to protect you, not to keep you from doing what you want.
There is a serious epidemic in our society: we have made
fear a habit. We pump ourselves with fear through stories of violence on
the news, graphic video games, and a myriad of fear-inducing articles and
advertisements about things we cannot control. This is not how we were
meant to live. The true purpose of fear is to protect us from real danger.
The body’s fight-or-flight response is like a friend who lets us know when
there is actual danger. Most of our fears, however, are not real. They are
merely projections onto a future that does not exist. Even worse, we base
these projections on little-to-no evidence.
Start looking at your fears through the rear-view mirror.
Think about all the times when you were afraid of something but took a leap
of faith, anyway. Most likely the payoff you got for choosing faith over
fear was worth it. Think about the adrenaline rush you felt when you
challenged yourself to tackle that. Was it not sheer joy to feel so brave?
You are now stronger because of it. When we listen to our fears, the
greatest payoff we get is the feeling of safety—but is that feeling worth
the risk of a life half lived, marked by regrets? Cut off every stream of
influence that plays into the habit of fear.
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8. The energy you
have around money determines how much of it you will make.
What you believe about money determines how much of it you
will earn. Manifesting money is more than positive thinking—it often takes
a complete overhaul of your beliefs and relationship with money. First,
there is an abundance of wealth available to you. One of the greatest
adversaries of wealth is the belief in lack. When you believe in lack, you
feel the pressure to create wealth instead of ushering it in. This lowers
your frequency and detracts from the wealth you are trying so hard to
create. Additionally, if you believe that you are a better person for not
having money, you are believing in lack. Think of money as a tool, like any
other, available for your use towards whatever objective you deem as worthy
of your wealth.
Possessing money will not bring you happiness, but it can
provide you with opportunities that will allow you to share with others in
meaningful ways. Wealth is not your enemy. Wealth is your friend. Make
affirmations that confidently communicate what you will now choose to
believe about money. You will need to make your affirmations specific and
time sensitive. Create urgency in your mental attitude. The more urgent the
expectation, the quicker the wealth will be ushered in. Choose to believe
in abundance.
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9. Surrendering is
admitting that you are a limited resource.
Stepping into your badass life is contingent on the balance
between energy and action. You increase your energy by changing your
beliefs and connecting with the limitless energy in the universe. You
increase your action by taking determined steps toward what you now believe
is possible. Surrender is the key to maintaining this balance. Even if you
have the best of intentions, to focus solely on action is a recipe for
burnout. An action focus leads to fear-based thinking. You start to think
defensively, like you must take charge and manipulate the outcome. This
will decrease your energy and create an imbalance. Love-based thinking
leads to surrender. Surrender opens the flood gates of energy. Surrender
ushers in love and gratitude for all the amazing things the universe will
deliver to you in time. Surrender lubricates your actions and helps you to
focus on who you are being on the way to where you are going.
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10. Create and
maintain healthy habits to reap the benefits of being a badass.
To read books and attend seminars without taking action is
an exercise in futility. You risk losing touch with your heart when you
over-inflate your head. Anyone can get pumped up at the idea of being a
badass, but true evolution is reserved for those who are willing to make a
habit of being uncomfortable. Take a look at the areas of your life that
make you wince, figure out which habits created them, and trade in those
habits for ones that you are proud of. Investigate the people that inspire
you and find out what their core habits are. Avoid drowning in the minutia
by choosing two major habits that would create significant positive change.
Hang out with people who live at a high frequency and draw
from their energy. When you set goals, be honest with yourself. You can
only start from where you are. Make the ride easier by being kind to
yourself. Creating new habits is hard but you can make it fun. Keep the
affirmations flowing and always involve your body in your actions.
Sometimes all it takes is choosing to smile or straightening your posture
to change your entire attitude.
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Endnotes
These insights are
just an introduction. If you're ready to dive deeper, pick up a copy of You Are a
Badass here. And since we get a commission on
every sale, your purchase will help keep this newsletter free.
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