BUILDING RAPPORT IS
MORE THAN JUST SMALL TALK
Posted by: Team Tony
Connecting with others is crucial to success in business
and personal relationships as well as our overall well-being. However, learning
how to connect with someone is not always easy, especially if your trust has been betrayed or you don’t have good relationship role models. Here
are five ways you can form an instant connection with anyone and build a
foundation for a deeper relationship.
1. USE MIRRORING WHEN CONNECTING WITH OTHERS
Up
to 93% of who we are, and what we respond to, is nonverbal. We gravitate
toward those like us or those who are what we aspire to be. A useful tip
for connecting with others is to match and mirror the
people we meet.
If their
energy is high, increase yours to match. If their energy is low, level yours
off to show you’re of kindred mind and spirit. Talk with your hands if they do.
Raise or lower your voice with theirs. You can mirror people’s methods of
touch and match the strength or delicacy of their handshake. Mimic
their breathing patterns and their posture, facial expressions, tempo, and
tone.
We
naturally mirror those we feel a connection to, but the reverse has proven just
as powerful. And we can organically stimulate that meaningful connection in
others by initiating the process ourselves. This turns everyday interactions
into an experience that leaves people with a lasting, positive impression of
you. Just as importantly, you’ll have a lasting, positive impression
of them.
2. TAKE A GENUINE INTEREST IN THOSE YOU MEET
How to
connect with people usually boils down to just one word: caring. To show
someone you care about them, you need to take a genuine interest in their
lives. Ask thoughtful and insightful questions – no matter how different you
are, you’ll find something of interest to connect over. Instead of thinking
about your next response or your own stories, focus solely on them and show empathy for
how they feel. This works in both personal and business settings. Once you show
you are genuinely interested in the other person, a connection will naturally
form.
3. MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD
Want to
learn how to build connections with others? Shine the spotlight on them
and make them see that they are important. This could mean asking for advice or
insight and deeply listening to
their answers, or it could mean talking up the other person to those around
you. Give genuine compliments, relay kind words others have said about them or
even give thoughtful gifts. The point is that making others feel important and
valued lays the groundwork for a solid connection.
4. LOOK FOR COMMON GROUND
If you
want to improve your chances of connecting with others, you need to look
for areas of common ground when you communicate. Though it’s impossible to
agree on everything, you can usually find at least a few areas where you have
similar opinions, which are ripe for meaningful conversation. If you don’t
agree on something, be respectful and discreetly move on to another topic where
there is less opportunity for conflict.
5. WATCH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
Much of communication is
nonverbal and humans are wired to pick up on subtle clues to
alert them to the true intentions of those they are interacting with. If you’re
talking with someone and constantly looking around the room, breaking eye
contact, glancing at your phone or giving other indications that you aren’t
interested, you won’t make a good impression. When looking for how to
connect with someone, the answer can be as easy as holding eye contact and
focusing your attention on what they’re saying. If you do have to put your
focus elsewhere, apologize and explain what you’re doing, then re-establish
your focus.
HOW TO BUILD CONNECTIONS WITH PEOPLE YOU WANT TO MEET
Your
environment is huge when it comes to building connections with new people in
both the personal and the business world. It’s hard to connect when there are
distractions such as loud music, too many people or an event you need to pay
attention to. Identify those you want to connect with and then find smaller,
quieter venues where you can get to know them better. If you’re in a large
networking group, schedule one-on-one time with those you want to connect with.
If you meet a potential friend or romantic partner at a party, ask if you can
grab a coffee the next day. When learning how to connect with people, you
need to set yourself up for success and creating the right environment is key.
LEARN HOW TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE BY ATTENDING
DATE WITH DESTINY
If you’re
having problems connecting with others, it’s impacting your happiness and
fulfillment. Learn how to discover your true passion and how to connect
with someone who can share that passion by attending Tony’s live event, Date with Destiny.
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