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Key insights from
Wherever You Go, There You Are:
Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life
By
Jon Kabat-Zinn
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What you’ll learn
Most of us struggle to stay
in the present moment, but Jon Kabat-Zinn argues that it is in the
here-and-now—not the there-and-then—that we find life and can awaken to the
wonders the present contains. In this art of living book, Kabat-Zinn shows
us how staying with the moment changes the way we approach our inner and
outer worlds, and offers simple pieces of encouragement to help us stay
“here” instead of drifting to “there.”
Read
on for key insights from Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness
Meditation in Everyday Life.
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1. The cloud of
forgetfulness can stretch over hours, days, years, or decades of our lives
if we do not learn to embrace the present.
There is a cloud of
forgetfulness that can fog up our vision and keep us from connecting with
the deepest parts of who we are. When this cloud envelops us, we operate
like automatons—moving, thinking and acting according to default settings.
Wherever your absent-minded thoughts take you, they will never steer you to
the present. The cloud never takes us to the here-and-now—only the
then-and-there. The stretches of cloudy awareness can extend for
hours, days, years, or even the entirety of our lives. But anyone reaching
out for “there” instead of being “here” will miss both.
Being present with yourself
wherever you may be is at the heart of mindfulness. To sink into the
awareness of what is around you and happening within you without leaping to
snap judgments is the practice that allows us to accept what is, learn from
it, and continue on life’s journey without getting stuck in the past or
racing ahead to a future moment where we hope we will be happier and
healthier.
At best, we are still only
partially aware of how we live our lives, of our ambitions and drives, or
how our actions affect those around us. Many people live their lives
asleep: so attached to what they believe about the world around them
and their own internal states that they miss more than they realize. This
dreamlike state is called mindlessness, and it usually harms us and those
around us. The goal of mindfulness is to step into awareness of our
mindlessness, to begin waking up.
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2. Mindfulness is
not just for Buddhists—it is for anyone looking to gain greater
self-awareness and enjoyment of the current moment.
You do not have to be a
Buddhist or become one in order to gain greater wakefulness and awareness
of what is going on around you and within you. This is precisely what the
practice of mindfulness helps us achieve.
Yogis and sages have been
cultivating this mindfulness over millennia and have a great deal to teach
Westerners who view nature as something to be dominated and controlled
rather than accepted as something we are part of.
The antithesis of
mindfulness is taking life for granted and failing to notice all the depth
and richness it contains, as well as the opportunities for growth and
transformation. While the largely materialist Western culture could benefit
from mindfulness practices, it is not simply a product of the East. It
undergirds Taoism and Buddhism and yoga, but we also see the hunt for
mindfulness in the Romantics and Transcendentalists like Henry David
Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson—not to mention Native American tribes. What
binds these disparate groups together is the desire to be fully present in
life and relationships rather than passively and reactively being moved
along by one stimulus or another.
Buddhism is not about
becoming something else but being who you are. Buddha is admired because he
was one who had awakened to his true nature.
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3. The constant
cycle of action seeking reward hamstrings our capacity to be still.
Sometimes people teaching
mindfulness will playfully instruct those practicing mindfulness, “Don’t
just do something, sit there,” reversing an impulse that is so reflexive
that it has become a common idiom. But meditation is not about sitting—in
the lotus position or otherwise. It is pure simplicity. It is stopping and
noticing. This is simple but not easy, maybe especially in a culture that
struggles to slow down.
Your default is human
doing, but step back into simply human being. Just watch the moment you’re
in right now. Don’t try to change or alter yourself or control what is
happening around you. Just observe. What do you see? What do you hear? What
emotions rise up in you as you slow down?
When we decide to do
something, we usually do so with the thought, however nebulous, that it
will benefit us. There is something in it for us—otherwise why do it, is
the unspoken logic. But when was the last time you did something for its
own sake, not because you could efficiently squeeze maximum utility out of
an activity or saw money-making potential or would see noticeable
improvement in yourself or how you feel? Meditation might be the only
activity that gives us a break from the continuous treadmill of stimulus
and response, of craving and reward.
It is good to have at least
one thing you do for its own sake, and meditation could be that thing for you.
The purpose of meditation is simply to discover where you are in the
present moment.
Throughout the day, take a
moment to offer yourself the friendly reminder that, “This is it.” Accept
what is in front of you. To be clear, this acceptance is not a resignation
to fate. If anything, locating yourself in the present moment helps you
untangle from the unending series of cause-and-effect, chain-reactive
thinking and allows you to see the broader web of connection between things
instead of the small subset of fragments your mind habitually drifts
toward. As you practice telling yourself, “This is it,” you might just
notice yourself responding to situations differently.
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4. It takes
greater strength to admit fragility than to perpetuate a façade of
indestructibility.
Many people project an
image of strength and invulnerability in an attempt to protect their
fragility. The grand paradox is that it takes a great deal of strength to
admit weakness—to others and even to ourselves.
This mask of intimidation
and unassailable strength is common among fathers in the immediate family
setting and for people in positions of power. The problem with living like
a rock that feels no pain is that others eventually start to believe the
lie along with us and treat us as if it were true. They will see and
interact only with the swagger and existential window dressing we put on
display, and we will feel increasingly isolated, leaving ourselves wounded
and in a prime position to wound others.
Pay attention to the
moments when you find yourself self-promoting, trying to feed the image of
strength, confidence, knowledge, or wisdom you are tempted to exhibit for
others. You might even sense yourself improving in meditative practice and
stillness and feel a compulsion to talk about it. Gently ask yourself
whether your self-promotion is driven by a desire to evade vulnerability,
to flee some unresolved sadness, or cover up anxieties.
Where there is sadness or
loss, welcome those emotions instead of shaming them, shutting them down,
or distracting yourself. Your greatest strength is to be mindful of what is
happening around you.
That is living from a position of strength; ruthlessly shutting
down your emotions is not. Closing yourself off from what is coming up in
the moment is the choice to stay asleep.
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5. Focusing on
breath is the best place to start for anyone looking to explore mindfulness
practices.
When people think of
meditation, many envision someone sitting on the floor, legs crossed, back
straight, eyes closed, face focused but calm. The posture exudes a sense of
wakefulness, stability, and quiet dignity.
Ultimately, more important
than the body’s stance is the mind's. You can be sitting upright and
poised, but your mind is whirring and racing from one thought to the next.
Mental meditative posture
begins with breathing, noticing the inhalations and exhalations.
Over time as you learn to
stay with your breathing and pay attention in the moment, you can hold
space for awareness of much more in the moment, but if you are just
learning mindfulness through meditation, focusing on your breath is the
best thing. Holding an awareness of too much too soon will leave the mind
swirling and drowning. The present is full—fuller than we initially
thought. Whether you take on more will depend on the level of motivation
and dedication to training.
Try devoting five or 10
minutes a day to being simply present. Drop the expectations and judgments
and plan for the time you have set aside. Your mind will inevitably drift.
It may even drift a lot. That is fine. Let breathing be the anchor that
keeps you connected to the present and prevents you from drifting indefinitely.
Feel it as a nonjudgmental tug back to your breath and to the present
moment.
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6. Even when we
are standing or walking, we can practice meditation and stay present.
Some people who are not
used to sitting still and struggle to stay in the present hit their stride
with walking meditation. In some monastic orders, seated meditation is
coupled with periods of meditative walking. Just as you attend to the
breathing in seated meditation, you bring your attention to walking: to the
rhythm of the footfalls. Once you find the rhythm, you can bring attention
to breathing too. The goal is not to arrive somewhere, but to focus on this
footfall and this breath. It is easier to maintain this focus on the
present when there is nowhere in particular you need to reach.
Sometimes the hurried pace
of life infiltrates the way we move. How fast do you usually walk? Do you
find yourself trying to hurry past people in front of you? What would
happen if you intentionally slowed down your pace? Slow yourself and
gratefully acknowledge the very fact that you can walk, remembering that many people no
longer can or never could.
Whether you are walking
quickly or slowly is not the ultimate issue; being present is. If you
decide to walk slowly, it might be a good idea to practice where you will
not be gawked at: an empty beach, field, or hiking trail. Even your living
room will do. If you push a cart in front of you at the store, then you can
slow down without being distracted by stares or your own
self-consciousness.
You can practice casually
as you walk to work or class, across the parking lot or to the store down
the road. If you find yourself rushing or getting anxious, slow the pace
down and tell yourself that you are here in this moment, and do not need to
be there until there is here.
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