By John
Pojeta November 20, 2018
When you sit down
with a prospect, you assume there two people in the conversation — you and your
prospect.
However, there are
two other voices at play in the sales process, and most advisors never notice
or address them. Not accounting for those two extra voices, however, is like
ignoring a third and fourth person in the room. Even if you try to shut them
out, their presence is heard and can shape the interaction.
The four voices in
any sales conversation are:
·
Your spoken voice.
·
Your internal voice.
·
The prospect’s spoken voice.
·
The prospect’s internal voice.
This idea was
popularized by former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss in his book Never
Split the Difference. He pointed out that when someone talks, quieting
the internal dialogue can be a battle, especially if there is an argument or an
element of persuasion playing out. This happens on both sides, so the interaction
can be overwhelmed by the cacophony of all four voices vying for attention at
once.
You may have
experienced this in your personal life as well. For me, I can have a
conversation with my wife, fully intending to give her my undivided attention, but
a stray thought will distract me. A minute later, she asks me what I think
about what she just said. Except, I didn’t hear what she just said. My mental
dialogue overpowered our conversation.
When we can quiet
the internal voices on both sides, the quality of the conversation goes up, and
both sides can fully engage with each other. Otherwise, even if we do not
completely lose control of our attention, those internal voices chip away at
our focus and our ability to truly listen to what each other has to say.
In sales, we have
our process, and we mistakenly believe that we have to think five or 10 moves
ahead to navigate the appointment and move the prospect closer to the sale.
When thinking this way, everything the prospect says triggers an internal analysis
that can lead to us focusing more on when it is our turn to speak than on what
the prospect is actually saying. That’s a key difference. We cannot just listen
to respond. We have to listen to uncover the layers of messages that are packed
into everything a prospect says.
And the prospect
feels that dynamic as well. This fosters their internal voice and then you both
jostle for position and try to feel out the potential relationship.
To quiet that voice
for both parties, you must make the prospect feel heard and you must make the
effort to listen yourself.
When a prospect
mentions something interesting, such as a potential wedge point where you can
point out that their current advisor is dropping the ball, fireworks are likely
to go off in your brain. Your internal voice may begin to shout, “That’s the
moment! That’s the opportunity to create the wedge that could lead to the
sale!”
Instead of diving
on it, ask your prospect, “Can you tell me more about that?”
This pushes the
conversation deeper, which requires the prospect to devote more attention and
thought to what they are saying. Their internal voice quiets, and yours can
quiet too as you listen to the prospect begin to explain why they might need
your help — whether or not they realize what’s happening.
When you listen to
understand in this way, rather than listening to respond, you can quiet those
voices and have a much more engaging, fruitful conversation. It’s calmer. It’s
more relaxed. And it’s more sincere as both you and the prospect actually get
to hear the content of what’s being said.
As you apply this
concept to your sales, it will take practice and time. Start with being aware
of when your own inner voice ramps up. When you notice that happening, shift
your focus to the prospect and listen.
John Pojeta is the vice president of business development at The
PT Services Group. He previously owned and operated an Ameriprise Financial
Services franchise for 16 years. John may be contacted atjohn.pojeta@innfeedback.com.
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