By
Karen Friedman – Guest Columnist
February
1, 2019
I have
a pet peeve and my guess is you have the same one. We’ve all forgotten our
online passwords from time to time. Retrieving them is typically a
straightforward process. You hit ‘forgot password’ and then receive an email
with a link prompting you to set up a new one.
However,
recently, when I have forgotten a password and followed the link to set up a
new one, I have been asked to enter my old password before I can set up a new
one. Someone somewhere is missing the point. If I knew my old password, then
why would I need to set up a new one? Yet, without being able to recall it and
enter it in the form, the site forbids me to create a new password.
Frustrated
to the max, the last time this happened, I called the company. More
frustration, as I sat on hold for a long period of time listening to a
recording telling me how important my call was to them. When someone finally
picked up and I vented to her, she apologized and told me it was a glitch in
the system.
A
glitch, I inquired? I reminded her that she worked for a global company whose
site was probably frequented by millions on a daily basis. I suggested that
their IT people fix the glitch. She said many customers like me have called the
problem to their attention, but the IT people said it couldn’t be fixed.
I
recommended that her company employ new IT people.
That
got me thinking. What kinds of excuses do we make in our own businesses and how
do these excuses hold us back?
As a
leadership coach, I continually try to push people out of their comfort zones
by changing mindsets. As an example, we recently prepared a company for a
series of investor presentations. The CEO, a smart innovative man was a dull
communicator. He was articulate, but monotone, soft spoken and conveyed no
sense of excitement or urgency to invest in his company’s product.
When I
shared my observations, he made a lot of excuses. In his country, “we don’t do
it that way”. He said, “Investors want more data” before they open their
wallets and my personal favorite “I’m not really trying to get them to invest,
just educating them.”
It
seemed to me that a CEO of a start-up who meets with potential investors on a
daily basis, you are always trying to sell your company and raise capital.
Without capital, it’s difficult to reach milestones and survive. Additionally,
I suggested that he re-shape the way he was telling the story. He began by
talking about his company’s product. I suggested he start by helping people
understand the enormity of the problem. That way, the solution would be so much
more powerful.
He
wasn’t so sure. He said he never did it that way before. More excuses.
I also
observed that he used weak words like ‘I think’ which is not as strong as
‘we’re optimistic’ or ‘we’re confident’. He also used filler words such as
‘basically’ a market opportunity’. I said it made him sound unsure. Eliminating
these words would help him speak with conviction and sound more confident. He
said no one has ever pointed this out before, so it was probably fine.
Another
excuse.
That’s
when the CFO, who hadn’t uttered a word, jumped in. He said he thought I was
right. He told the CEO they were missing huge opportunities to excite potential
investors by learning how to communicate more effectively.
Silence.
Then the CEO looked at me and asked, “how might I do this differently?”
That
question meant he was open to thinking differently which is the first step to
improvement. When you think differently, you back off on the excuses. Through a
series of role-playing on videotape, he applied some of the suggestions. When
he saw the immediate difference, he was excited. That motivated him to
continually adjust the way he communicates. At meetings, people began to
hear him differently which ultimately translated to more interest and funding
of his product.
All of
us make excuses from time to time. We procrastinate. We prioritize other things
we’d rather do, and we get distracted. In short, we get in our own way.
However, when leaders make excuses, they can risk appearing defensive or
unfocused. Instead of communicating positively by sharing their vision and
excitement, some get stuck in mediocrity. Mistakenly, that’s what happened in
this case.
Several
months earlier, the company had a technical issue that spooked some investors
away. They fixed it and put it behind them. In fact, the unexpected fix
actually substantially improved outcomes. Yet, as the CEO continued to meet
with people, he was still focused on making excuses for past problems instead
of talking about future opportunities. He sounded annoyed and defensive …
inappropriate for potential investors.
A few
ways to eliminate excuses:
·
Be present. If you focus on the
past, you can’t be fully present. It’s like saying I’m not going to the gym
because the last time I went I didn’t lose any weight.
·
Be honest. If you mislead
yourself, you may mislead others. Telling someone that’s not the way people
“from your country” communicate may signal you are unwilling to adapt.
·
Be accountable. If
you surround yourself with “yes” men and women, they agree with everything you
say. Instead, listen to people who challenge your excuses.
Leadership
is not about titles. Leadership is about behavior. As a leader you set the
tone. If your tone is one of excuses, employees may follow your lead and do the
same thing. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve given them permission to do
so. In the case of this CEO, excuses may have also robbed his company of
investors.
The
next time you’re about to make an excuse, try thinking differently by asking
yourself these questions:
·
Are you afraid of trying something new?
·
Are you afraid someone else will get credit for a different
idea?
·
Are you stuck in the past?
Until
you become aware of what’s driving your excuses, you’ll have a tough time
working through them. However, once you do, you’ll be one step closer to
changing your mindset which may help you get rid of those excuses once and for
all.
Karen Friedman is
a professional communication coach, speaker and chief improvement officer
at Karen Friedman
Enterprises. She is the author of “Shut Up and Say Something:
Business Communication Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Ordinary People:
Extraordinary Lessons.
https://www.bizjournals.com/philadelphia/news/2019/02/01/excuse-me-for-making-excuses.html?ana=e_me_set2&s=newsletter&ed=2019-02-01&u=duuvGSBNOnk9yCd7ylmxsA084ac576&t=1549033989&j=86406441
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