Feeling
socially isolated can raise your risk of heart disease, stroke, and other
ailments, new research shows. Try this antidote
by Lisa Fields |April 23, 2019
So many common
changes of circumstance can lead to feeling lonely in your 50s and 60s.
Retirement or a layoff. Divorcing after a long marriage. A spouse or close
friends passing away. The kids (finally) leaving home for good.
In fact, roughly four
in 10 adults aged 52 to 71 consider themselves lonely, according to a recent study by Cigna. The Cigna survey also shows, and other
recent studies confirm, that feeling socially isolated can be bad for your
health.
Boomers are by no
means the loneliest generation, according to Cigna (looking at you, Gen Z and
millennials). But the health issues associated with feelings of social
isolation can heighten the risks of developing or worsening conditions that are
more common as you age.
A new study
in the journal Heart, for example, found that people who are lonely or
socially isolated are at greater risk of heart attack and stroke than people
with stronger social connections. A recent Danish study
found that loneliness increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes and migraine,
and poor sleep habits worsen the problems.
And researchers from
the University of Chicago have found
that loneliness is a sleep stealer: People who feel emotionally cut off from
family and friends have more fragmented sleep than those who feel more
connected to others.
“Loneliness is a
stressful condition and, like a lot of stressful conditions, it puts wear and
tear on our nervous systems,” says loneliness researcher Chris Segrin, a
professor of communication at the University of Arizona.
You can feel lonely
even when you have an active social life and are surrounded by people who care
about you.
“Loneliness and
alone-ness are two different things,” Segrin says. “Loneliness is really
about the quality of relationships meeting our desired levels.”
Recognizing that
you’re feeling lonely and deciding to take action to help you improve your social
connections can be empowering.
“Knowing that we have
some control in life is essential in the management of loneliness,” says Jodi
J. De Luca, a licensed clinical psychologist in Erie, Colo. “Coming up with a
list of options and solutions can provide [that] sense of control and
optimism.”
These five strategies
should help.
Find your village
Meeting new people
after 50 is tougher than it was during childhood, when social circles weren’t
already tightly formed and everyone in your class wanted to be friends. That’s
especially true for the more than half of people aged 52 to 71 who feel shy,
according to the Cigna study, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness.
“Building social
relationships can take time and one of the problems with lonely people is they
don’t often try or they give up easily,” Segrin says. “Put that effort out
there and [don’t] give up.”
Segrin says it’s
especially important to seek out people who are like-minded. In fact, the
top feeling of loneliness, expressed by nearly 60% of boomers in the Cigna
study, was the notion that those around you do not share your interests and
ideas.
To forge
relationships with people who are passionate about the same things you are,
look for groups that focus on activities that you love.
Four in 10 adults
aged 52 to 71 consider themselves lonely
2018 Cigna U.S.
Loneliness Index
Like to read? Join a
book club. Love animals? Put in time at a local shelter. Enjoy hiking? Find a
Meetup group that hits the trails. (Meetup is an online platform that helps you identify people in
your community who share your interests, then connect with them in real life.)
Don’t overlook
volunteer opportunities; they can help you beat loneliness while you’re doing
good. Research shows that among adults aged 55 and older who felt
lonely before volunteering, 67% who volunteered for a year felt less socially
isolated.
“Helping others is
very gratifying,” De Luca says. “We feel better about ourselves. Overall, the
experience of helping others greatly diminishes the experience of loneliness.”
Boost existing
relationships
Some lonely people
have friends, but they don’t feel they get enough out of those relationships to
satisfy their social needs.
“Building
social relationships can take time. One of the problems with lonely people is
that they give up too easily.”
Chris
Segrin, professor University of Arizona
“There are ways that
people can upgrade their current relationships,” Segrin says. “[Date night or] girls’
night out [are] examples of people setting aside time to nurture and enjoy
their existing relationships.”
Focus on activities
that encourage conversation. Or try new experiences that take you out of your
comfort zone (hello, karaoke night!). These kinds of interactions are more
likely to move relationships in positive new directions than passive activities
like watching movies.
Change your location
If you’d love to chat
up your neighbors but the people around you have never given you the time of
day, it may be time to relocate.
A growing number of
people who feel lonely or isolated are moving to cohousing communities. Designed for people who want greater
interaction with neighbors, these developments consist of private homes that
are adjacent to shared spaces, where people gather regularly to eat and socialize.
Research has shown that older adults who reside in cohousing
communities feel less lonely and more satisfied with their living situations.
And most of the cohousing residents studied have said that they would recommend
cohousing to older adults to help them improve their quality of life as they
age.
Hang out with some
kids
They’ll make you
laugh and remind you of what it was like to be a child again.
“Intergenerational
interactions, regardless of setting, can help combat loneliness,” says Sheri
Steinig, special projects director at Generations United, a nonprofit that
brings older adults and children together through a variety of programs.
“Intergenerational programs provide both older and younger participants with a
sense of purpose.”
“Knowing we have some
control in life is essential to the management of loneliness.”
Jodi J. De Luca,
psychologist
Erie, Colo.
To find a program
that connects older and younger members of your community, contact local
schools, libraries, community centers, and religious institutions for volunteer
opportunities that allow you and other adults to interact with children.
Or you can search here for programs in cities across the country that have been
identified by Generation to Generation, an initiative from encore.org that helps
adults over 50 make a positive difference in the lives of young people.
Take baby steps
Your social network
won’t change overnight, but consistent efforts should help over time.
“Start small and
start at home,” Steinig says. “Start a conversation with a neighbor. Get out to
local public spaces like parks, libraries or community centers. Smile or wave
at someone much older or younger than you.”
Aim to have at least
one meaningful, in-person interaction a day. The Cigna study found that people
who do are significantly more likely to feel they have people they can turn to,
people they can talk to, and people who understand them.
In turn, not
surprisingly, people who felt those connections were also much more likely to
report that they get the right amount of sleep and are in very good or excellent
health.
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