Setting a professional tone with co-workers, clients and customers
For organizations and
employees alike, recognizing the critical link between business protocol and
profit is key to your success. Learn how to confidently interact with
colleagues in ways that make you and your whole organization shine with this
special report, 14 Tips on Business Etiquette: Setting a professional tone with
co-workers, clients and customers.
Discover best practices
on making proper introductions; cubicle etiquette; “casual dress” rules;
handshake protocol; guest etiquette; workplace behavior faux pas; business
dining etiquette, office wedding invites and other co-worker special occasions;
business letter and email protocol—and even how your office decorations may
affect your professional image.
14 Tips on Business Etiquette also presents real-life etiquette questions answered by
“America’s foremost authority on manners,” Letitia Baldrige. And you’ll learn
tips on how to finesse awkward, embarrassing situations at work, courtesy of
the great-grandson of Emily Post, etiquette expert Peter Post.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #1
CUBICLE
ETIQUETTE: 8 CLOSE-QUARTERS RULES
Open office spaces,
where most people work without doors, encourage teamwork and creativity. But
they also mean working closely with others—sometimes too close for comfort.
Even if there aren’t
four walls and a door marking the area, you need to respect everyone else’s
work space. Eight etiquette rules:
1.
Don’t “prairie dog.” Walk around the partition to see a neighbor, instead of
popping your head over the top. And as you walk down the passageways, don’t
peek into each workstation.
2.
Pretend that workstations have walls. Don’t barge into a work area that has no door.
Lightly tap on the wall near the opening or say “Excuse me” to announce your
arrival. Never assume it’s OK to enter someone’s work space unless he or she
signals you to do so
3.
Allow co-workers to complete calls. Don’t try to interrupt with sign language
or lurk just outside the cubicle. Drop a note on the desk or return later.
or lurk just outside the cubicle. Drop a note on the desk or return later.
4.
Grant your neighbors private time. Stagger lunch breaks to provide everyone
a few minutes alone at their desks.
a few minutes alone at their desks.
5.
Move conversations from hallways. Lead the group you’re talking with to a
conference room or other common area so you don’t disturb co-workers who are
trying to concentrate.
conference room or other common area so you don’t disturb co-workers who are
trying to concentrate.
6.
Don’t chime in to conversations you hear over the wall. Whether it’s a work
question you can answer or a private conversation you’d rather not hear, ignore
comments that aren’t directed at you.
question you can answer or a private conversation you’d rather not hear, ignore
comments that aren’t directed at you.
7.
Keep lunch in the kitchen. Or, when you absolutely can’t leave your desk for a
meal, choose foods without strong odors, and dispose of your trash in the kitchen,
not in your own wastebasket.
meal, choose foods without strong odors, and dispose of your trash in the kitchen,
not in your own wastebasket.
8.
Turn down the volume. Mute any sound effects on a screensaver, set your
phone ringer on low (and send callers directly to voice mail when you won’t be
able to answer), set your personal cell phone to silent mode and minimize the
volume of any computer alarms.
phone ringer on low (and send callers directly to voice mail when you won’t be
able to answer), set your personal cell phone to silent mode and minimize the
volume of any computer alarms.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #2
'CASUAL
DRESS' ETIQUETTE: DEMYSTIFY YOUR EVENT'S DRESS CODE
Casual. Corporate casual. Business casual. Smart casual. Resort casual. Don’t leave meeting attendees
baffled about your event’s dress code.
Explain what you mean by
“business casual” or “corporate casual,” etc. with examples of appropriate
attire for men and women. One event’s “resort casual” encouraged wearing jeans,
while another explained that shorts were acceptable, but not denim or cutoffs.
Strike the right tone in
offering your advice to attendees, whether it’s a formal “suits are not
appropriate” or a friendly “leave your ties at home!”
If you will be attending
a meeting where the dress code is unclear, conduct casual research: Contact
someone in the host organization, talk with previous attendees to learn what
people really wear (ties are encouraged, but no one wears one) or seek the
advice of experts at a clothing shop that caters to business people.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #3
HOW
TO FINESSE AWKWARD, EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS
Knowing whether or not
to tell your CEO that he has spinach stuck in his teeth is one sure test of
your business etiquette skills. (Answer: Tell him, but discreetly.)
How would you handle the
two difficult or embarrassing situations below?
Situation 1. You
find a personal—and potentially embarrassing—document left behind on the
photocopier.
Solution: Normally, you’d put
forgotten pages in a tray beside the copier, for people to claim later. In this
case, though, deliver the document in person, advises Peter Post, author of The
Etiquette Advantage in Business and great-grandson of Emily Post.
And don’t peruse its
contents. “Save the person any worry,” writes Post, “by volunteering: ‘I didn’t
read this when I opened the copier lid, but I could tell it was private and
thought I’d drop it by.’”
Situation 2. The
boss is expecting a visitor any moment, and you notice his fly is open. You
wonder whether you should tell him or just hope someone else does.
Solution: If you’re a man, tell
him. If you’re a woman, ask one of the guys in the office to let him know.
Office etiquette no-no’s: The top annoying behaviors
Showing consideration
for your co-workers isn’t merely polite. Those surveyed for the staffing firm
Office Angels said they’re more likely to help considerate co-workers, and that
those colleagues are more deserving of promotion than annoying office mates.
The top irritating
behaviors cited:
·
Receiving email from
someone sitting 3 feet away.
·
Listening to voice mail
over a speakerphone.
·
Swearing at the
computer.
·
Playing music a
co-worker doesn’t like
Noise created by
technology topped annoyances that ranked high just a few years ago, such as
leaving the photocopier with a jam or gossiping.
Don’t dismiss the
impact of annoying habits: More than a third of office workers say they’ve
considered switching jobs to escape the irritation.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #4
HANDSHAKE
ETIQUETTE: SETTING THE STAGE FOR INSTANT RAPPORT
A good, well-timed
handshake to pair with your smile is a sure way to stand out, whether you’re at
the company picnic or an industry conference.
Here’s how important it is: A prospective employee with the best handshake is more
likely to get the job, research shows.
Even if you’re not a
job-seeker, a good handshake will grant you instant rapport when meeting
someone new. With that in mind, here’s a refresher course on the business
protocol of the perfect handshake:
·
Focus on the person
you’re shaking hands with. Look directly into the person’s eyes during the
handshake.
·
Keep your grip firm and
assertive but not too tight. General rule of thumb: Grasp as tightly as the
other person does.
·
Two up-and-down pumps
are adequate. The shake should last about three seconds.
·
Two-handed handshakes
are a sign of real affection, so steer clear of them when meeting new people.
·
Be ready to shake hands,
regardless of your gender or the other person’s. He or she will remember that
you extended your hand first.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #5
JOB
ETIQUETTE: WHEN A CO-WORKER GETS THE PINK SLIP
Your friend at work gets
handed a pink slip, and now you feel awkward. So awkward, in fact, that you’re
tempted to do nothing. But that’s the last thing you should do.
Here’s how to deal with
the situation:
React quickly, or risk appearing insensitive. Even if you can say only, “I’m sorry. And
I don’t know what to say.”
Steer clear of downplaying or saying anything inauthentic. Avoid saying things like, “This place is
going down the tubes” or “I know how you feel.”
Set up a gathering, once the initial shock has faded. Make it just the two of you or invite
others, so you have time to say goodbye outside the office. Keep it focused on
the person, and “understand that some things are out of our control,” advises
psychologist Kenneth E. Reinhard.
Avoid morphing into a self-help book. You don’t need to have all the answers, so
keep it simple. “You want to say that you’re feeling for them right now, but
keep it simple,” Reinhard says. “You don’t have to do much more than be an
outlet.”
Don’t indulge in office gossip. If you get together with your buddy post-layoff, steer the
conversation away from sour office topics, such as who might be laid off next.
“You’re preventing that person from moving on,” Reinhard says.
— Adapted from “Coping
When a Close Co-Worker Is Laid Off,” Kayleen Schaefer, The Wall Street Journal
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #6
GUEST
ETIQUETTE: ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET FOR VISITORS
When a VIP comes to your
office, how do you dole out extra-special treatment?
Being friendly and
responsive is the key to treating VIPs well, says Peter Post.
Here’s Post’s advice on
how to do that:
Greet VIPs by name. “There’s something so powerful about using somebody’s name
when you greet them,” Post says. “I’m always surprised when some people don’t
do it.” Make the person feel welcome. Post even suggests standing up in some
cases.
Example: Stand up, say: “Hello,
Mr. Smith. Let me tell John you’re here.” Go to John’s door, as opposed to
calling him, open it for the VIP guest, then close it behind him. These are
nice, simple things you can do. And you’ll be remembered.
Deliver a heads-up to the boss. Even if you wouldn’t normally give your boss a five-minute
warning before an appointment, this would be a time to do it. That sets the
stage. “You’re giving him that moment to get ready,” Post says.
Shoo away distractions so you’re not caught juggling when the VIP arrives. If
someone comes to your desk with a problem, be direct in asking her to wait.
Example: “I want to help you
with that problem, but I know Mr. Smith is about to arrive and I need to give
him my full attention. I’ll get back to you.”
Make small talk only if you observe a clear signal. “I think part of the smartness of an admin
is an ability to read people,” Post says. If the VIP ends up waiting a minute
or two, you’ll need to evaluate whether to attempt chitchat. If he whips out a
newspaper, don’t try to make conversation. If he sits and smiles at you, then
ask about the weather.
“And, please, converse
without going into controversial topics,” Post advises.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #7
BUSINESS
PHONE ETIQUETTE: SOOTHE ANGRY CALLERS
Turn a growling caller
into a purring, pleased customer with these telephone etiquette techniques:
·
Bite your tongue. When someone screams on the phone, your first thought may
be, “What a jerk!” But that attitude will only poison an already-tenuous
relationship with the caller. Instead, stay calm and listen.
·
Let ’em vent. Like
a whistling kettle, angry callers need to vent some steam. Don’t interrupt—
even with a solution—before they tell their story.
·
Take it down a notch. Instead of raising your voice to match the caller’s volume,
speak softly. That will soothe the speaker and show him or her that you’re
interested in handling the complaint in a calm, rational way.
·
Stay focused. Resist
the urge to complete another task while a caller rants. The sound of your
rattling papers will signal that you don’t care.
·
Empathize and apologize. When the caller runs out of vitriol, show that you
understand why the person is angry. Example: “I know this has been frustrating
for you, Mr. Smith, and I’m sorry that Ms. Jones has not returned your call.”
Note: Use the caller’s name and speak in complete sentences, not single words
such as “Yes” or “No,” which sometimes sound rude.
·
Take one for the team. Accept responsibility for the problem even if you’re not to
blame. Example: “I should have made it clear that, although our manager will be
returning to the office today, she’s tied up in meetings until the afternoon.”
·
Ask, “What would you like me to do?” This shows that you’re there to help.
·
Offer a fallback. Never end a call with “I can’t do that.” If you can’t do
what the caller asks, tell him or her what you can do. Example: “I can’t
interrupt that meeting, Mr. Smith, but I can pass along the message to call you
as soon as it ends.”
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #8
KITCHEN
FAUX PAS: WHO ATE MY YOGURT?
Some employees can
tolerate co-workers’ swearing and rude behavior, but don’t even dream of
touching their yogurt or ham sandwiches. The most offensive thing an office
worker can do is steal colleagues’ food from the office fridge, says a
TheLadders.com survey of 2,500 U.S. employees.
A full 98% agreed that
fridge raiding was unacceptable workplace etiquette.
Respondents also cited,
in order: bad hygiene, bad habits, drinking on the job, swearing, wasting
paper, cooking smelly food in the microwave and using a BlackBerry in meetings.
Help everyone keep the fridge clean
The greatest mystery in
many workplaces is what’s lurking in the office refrigerator. Go beyond
scheduling regular “use it or lose it” deadlines. Follow these tips:
1.
Post a copy of the clean-fridge policy on the refrigerator door, so no one will
have any excuses.
2.
Make it easy for people to label containers with their names and expiration dates by
keeping a marking pen and tape in the kitchen.
3.
Promote safe food storage by posting the USDA’s cold storage chart.
4.
Don’t leave perishable
food sitting at room temperature for more than two hours. (Instead of leaving
office party leftovers on the counter for everyone to share, leave a note
directing people to the food in the fridge.)
5.
Make sure the
refrigerator is set below 40 degrees, the magic number needed to slow bacteria
growth.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #9
OFFICE
DONATIONS: KEEP IT LOW-KEY WHEN PASSING THE HAT
Not only is there no
such thing as a free lunch, but those birthday cakes for co-workers can cost
you, too.
It’s not unusual to be
asked to help pay for celebrations at the office, such as birthdays and baby
showers. In a survey by OfficeTeam, more than 75% of respondents said employees
chip in at least once a year; 15% said employees receive donation requests
monthly.
Avoid asking colleagues
for too much too often by following these office protocol guidelines from
OfficeTeam:
·
Keep it selective. Asking a new hire who has never met the mom-to-be to
contribute to a baby shower is unfair. Instead, extend the invite to those who
are most familiar with the person receiving special attention.
·
Keep it reasonable. Rather than specifying a dollar amount, ask coworkers for
voluntary contributions of any size toward buying a cake, gift or other item.
·
Keep it low-key. Send a general email announcement or circulate a donation
envelope for anonymous contributions—that’s preferable to a personal plea,
which can make people feel uncomfortable.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #10
BUSINESS
LETTER ETIQUETTE: THE ART OF THE PERSONAL NOTE
Who hasn’t started
writing a thank-you or condolence note, only to encounter “the big um” after
the first sentence?
“The big um is when you
get your first couple of words out and wonder, ‘What’s next?’” says Angela
Ensminger, co-author of On a Personal Note: A Guide to Writing Notes with Style (Hallmark). “That blank paper is very
intimidating.”
Ensminger told attendees
at an International Association of Administrative Professionals convention that
great personal notes come from taking these five steps:
1. State why you’re writing in a straightforward manner. Example: “Thank you for taking the time to visit our
offices.”
2. Elaborate on step 1. Example: “It was so valuable for our entire executive team to meet
with you face to face. And your meeting sparked several creative ideas that
we’re excited to pursue.”
3. Build the relationship. “This is the most important step,” says
Ensminger. “What you’re saying here is: ‘Your relationship matters, and I’m
proving it by taking the time to write this note.’ In business relationships,
time taken is worth everything. If there’s a bell curve of emotion to a
personal note, this is the top of it.”
1.
That key step is often
missing in personal notes, adds Ensminger, so doing it well will set you apart
from the crowd. As you write, take into consideration how close your boss is to
the recipient and what’s coming up next in the relationship.
2.
Example: “We feel fortunate to
have spent so much time with you. We look forward to seeing you again at the
XYC convention next year.”
3.
Restate why you’re writing. Example: “Again, thanks for your visit.”
4.
Offer your regards. For business notes, “Sincerely” is the standard
Bottom line: It takes practice, but the payoff is huge.
Ensminger says, “People
still get a jolt when they look in their mailbox, and there’s something other than a
form letter in there.”
still get a jolt when they look in their mailbox, and there’s something other than a
form letter in there.”
Noteworthy etiquette: Say more than thanks
Managers are always
looking for ways to tell the team “thanks.” Appreciation is one of the few,
affordable ways to retain and motivate everyone. Follow these tips to put your
sentiments down on paper:
1. Use a handwritten personal note, whenever possible.
2. Avoid templates, and make each letter a unique expression of what you specifically appreciate.
3. Craft the right message with these effective “building block” phrases from How to Write It, by Sandra E. Lamb:
2. Avoid templates, and make each letter a unique expression of what you specifically appreciate.
3. Craft the right message with these effective “building block” phrases from How to Write It, by Sandra E. Lamb:
·
Must express my
appreciation
·
So grateful for your
contribution
·
Unequaled in effort
·
Done with such expertise
·
An exemplary performance
·
Offer my sincere
appreciation
·
I was so impressed by
·
Your performance is
noteworthy
·
Set an outstanding
example for
·
Demonstrate such
dedication
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #11
BUSINESS
DINING ETIQUETTE: 5 RULES
Whether you’re lunching
with peers at a convention or meeting with a vendor, business dining etiquette
can keep you from marring your image with a faux pas.
Here are five etiquette
rules for business meals, according to Robin Jay, author of The Art of the Business Lunch:
Building Relationships Between 12 and 2.
1.
Never, ever talk with your mouth full. Instead, take small bites so you can
quickly swallow if somebody asks you a question, Jay says.
2.
Come prepared with a few casual, non-business topics in mind. It helps you avoid awkward silences.
People enjoy giving their thoughts on subjects like travel, sports and movies.
3.
Always be kind to the wait staff, no matter what happens. Anyone who is nice to you but nasty to the
server is not a nice person.
4.
Know your lunch partner’s business. It’s especially key when your tablemate is
someone you’d like to impress, but the rule holds true regardless. The fewer
times you have to say (or think), “I didn’t know that!” the more impressed the
other party will be. How to steal this idea: Take a few minutes to do a Google search before you leave for
lunch.
5.
Put some thought into choosing the right restaurant. Too casual or inexpensive and the person
may not feel valued. Too expensive and they may perceive you as wasteful. When
in doubt, suggest that the other person pick the place.
Bonus tip: If you’ve ever wondered when (and how much) to tip an airport
skycap, cab driver, pizza delivery person or furniture delivery person, go
online to The Original Tipping Page. The site offers advice on various tipping
moments, plus a tip-rate chart for your wallet.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #12
OFFICE
DECORATIONS: BALANCE PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL IMAGE
If reaching for
reference materials requires moving a handful of beads you brought back from
Mardi Gras, your personality may be overpowering your professional image.
Personalizing our office
space is tempting because we spend more awake hours there than anywhere else.
But strike a balance by answering these questions about your cubicle décor:
1.
Who will see it? A receptionist in an office with many VIP visitors obviously
enjoys less freedom of expression than someone whose workplace hosts
few outsiders. In wide-open spaces, search for private spots to display
meaningful mementos. Example: Post an inspirational quote on your keyboard
tray.
2.
What does it say about you? Great choices for office decorations tell
visitors something about you that might spark a conversation. A photo of you
crossing the finish line in a marathon might inspire others as well as
yourself. But a wall of blue ribbons hints at either boasting or insecurity. If
doodads and figurines obscure your computer and desktop, don’t be surprised when
others question your commitment to work. And while live plants add a splash of
color, a dead one screams “Neglect!”
3.
Is it distracting? Although cubicle walls may block your items from view, they still
may disturb others. Avoid screensavers and toys with sound effects, or fresh
flowers each week if your neighbor suffers from allergies. Judge whether a
candy dish on your desk offers hospitality, unwelcome temptation or an
invitation to distractions from work.
4.
Does it go overboard? Show off a few prize pieces from your collection, not hundreds of
frogs. The test: If it’s impossible to
take a professional-looking photo of you from any angle in your workstation,
you’ve surrounded yourself with too many items unrelated to work.
Just like professional
dress in the workplace, seek cues from the corporate culture, your manager and
others you respect about what’s appropriate in your workplace
Business email etiquette: 3 quick tips
1.
Send the right message
with your email sign-off by “mirroring,” says Judith Kallos, creator of
www.NetManners.com, a site dedicated to online etiquette. “In business, you
want to maintain the highest level of formality until the other person indicates
otherwise,” she says. “Let the other side set the level of familiarity.”
2.
Unless your organization
specifies otherwise, you need not respond to email messages if your name is in
the “cc” field, says productivity expert Laura Stack. And don’t reply simply to
confirm receiving a message, since most email systems allow the sender to
request a receipt if needed. Reply only if you can’t handle an assignment in
the time frame expected.
3.
Find out whether
you’ve been rude via email at www.NetManners.com. You’ll find business email
basics, Netiquette forums for discussion, even a “Netiquette Questions?”
section that allows you to pose your own questions and receive personal advice.
Brush up on proper manners and be part of the trend toward more courteous
exchanges online.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #13
PARTY
ETIQUETTE: SPECIAL OCCASIONS WITH CO-WORKERS
Office party etiquette
is simple: Don’t do anything that you don’t want the entire company to be
talking about for several years to come. Contrary to popular myth, an office
party is not the place to wear a lampshade on your head. Keep your dignity, and
respect the dignity of others.
For co-worker special occasions, follow these gift-giving tips:
►Birthdays
A common practice is for
the birthday person’s co-workers to provide a cake and a small in-office party.
Flowers from the boss are also a nice touch. A birthday card for a co-worker
celebrating the special day is always considerate, but birthday gifts are never
required in business. An executive may choose to give small gifts to special
staffers, such as a long-time assistant. There’s no need for employees to give
gifts to the boss, unless the working relationship has extended over many years
or the employee is socially close to the boss and his or her family.
►Weddings
Although all wedding
invitations require a written acceptance or regret, you are not required to attend the weddings of all
employees who send invitations. If you receive an invitation from someone who
is not in your department or is not your superior, feel free to send your
regrets. A gift is not required for these events, but a note congratulating the
newlyweds is a thoughtful touch.
If invited, executives
should attend the weddings of their staff and senior-level managers. If they
can’t attend, executives should still send a gift. Among peers, wedding
invitations are common and should be treated as social events. Except when
invited to the wedding, employees are not required to give their bosses wedding
presents. In any event, a wedding gift from a subordinate to a boss need not be
lavish.
►Baby showers
If you are invited to a
baby shower, you should follow the personal rules you have established for
contributing to office celebrations. It is not essential that you attend the
shower or give a gift to every company employee who has a baby. However,
executives should give shower gifts to their close colleagues, assistants and
immediate staff. You may choose to send others a card or a personal note.
►Retirement parties
When an executive
retires, a party is standard protocol. At a retirement party, the company
should give the person a gift based on his or her length of service and
seniority.
The retiree’s staff and
immediate boss may wish to give him or her a present in addition to the
official corporate gift. The best gifts are small presents that express how
much the retiree will be missed at the office.
BUSINESS ETIQUETTE TIP #14
ETIQUETTE
QUESTIONS: EXPERT ADVICE FROM LETITIA BALDRIGE
Letitia Baldrige has
been called “America’s foremost authority on manners.” She has written dozens
of books on manners, entertaining and design. In a column in Business
Management Daily’s Administrative Professional Today, she answered readers’
questions on workplace etiquette and protocol. Here’s a sampling:
►What’s the proper way to introduce business associates?
Q. I occasionally
escort business visitors around our office and introduce them to our
executives. I’m never sure whose name and title to say first—the visitor’s or
the executive’s. What’s the proper protocol?
Letitia: Always start with the
more important person’s name. For example, if you’re showing your CEO’s new
executive assistant, Susan Flynn, around the office, you’d say: “Jim, I'd like
to present George’s new executive assistant, Susan Flynn. She has just
transferred here from our offices in Pasadena. Susan, this is Jim Farnsworth,
our corporate counsel, and you’ll be seeing a lot of him.”
If you’re introducing
someone important in your company to a more junior visitor, you would come out
first with your senior executive’s name: “Mr. Anderson, I would like to
introduce Camilla Bianco to you. She is a new vice president for creative
services. Camilla, this is Jonathan Anderson, president of the Blue Division.”
If you get confused,
relax: The important thing is to say the names of both people clearly. They'll
take it from there.
►Office wedding protocol: Must I invite everybody?
Q. I’m planning my
wedding and trying to keep the guest list to a manageable number. But I feel
compelled to invite people from work. How can I invite some people but not
others without hurting anyone’s feelings? And I know I should invite my boss,
but should I invite my boss’s boss?
Letitia: Tell everyone well
before your big day that you’re having a small wedding, so no one will feel
left out. Invite only very essential friends from the office, including your
boss (but not your boss’s boss!), his or her spouse, and perhaps your two
closest friends. Your family members should take priority over co-workers, as
should close friends from other parts of your life.
If you’re lucky enough
to have a group of supportive, close friends at work, ask them to give a
simple, no-frills cocktail party in honor of your wedding a couple of weeks
before it takes place. Then you can invite everyone from work, and they will
feel caught up in the excitement of the wedding and look upon this event as if
it were a reception.
►Business dining etiquette: Who pays for lunch?
Q. When a group of
co-workers takes a colleague to lunch for a special occasion, such as a
birthday, how should we divide the tab?
Letitia: I presume most people
want these special occasion meals for office colleagues to be amusing,
memorable and pleasant from every aspect. The big obstacle to success is when
the bill is presented. There is fumbling and mumbling, indecision and
objections. The conversation at bill-paying time might go like this:
“I had only a house salad, so I should pay less.”
“Is $10 enough?”
“I had a really expensive dessert. Should I pay more?”
“I didn’t bring much cash” ... and on and on and on.
The way to solve this is
always to split it according to how many people are in attendance. The total
should include the cost of the guest of honor’s meal, plus the gratuities for
everyone. If you feel you were cheated by spending less this time, it will
probably even out the next time, or the time after that, when you will be
spending more than the others. It almost always comes out in the end.
To split a large check
10 ways is easy. To calculate each person’s charges, butter pad by butter pad,
spoils the party.
►Does it matter who opens a door nowadays?
Q. What’s the proper
procedure when a group of people are approaching a closed door? If I (a female)
arrive first, I usually open the door and hold it for others, but I notice that
makes some people (particularly older males) uncomfortable.
Letitia:We spend too much time
worrying about who should go through the door first. The important thing is
just to get through it!
If you hold the door for
a man who is clearly embarrassed by it, rest easy in the knowledge that you
won’t see many more men like him. He’s obviously of the “outgoing generation”
of businessmen whose touches of chivalry are no longer the norm. Just be
thankful you once knew a “real gentleman.”
Of course, you can avoid
this problem by simply not being the first person at the door. Let someone else
be the first.
If you find yourself
stuck with holding the door for what seems like an interminably long line of
people, step away from the door and let someone else cope with it. You
shouldn’t be left holding the door for the whole world.
►What’s the protocol on presenting my business card?
Q. When’s the proper
time to present my business card at a meeting?
Letitia: When you present
your business card to someone, you’re handing yourself to that person, so it pays to remember
these business card etiquette tips:
To gracefully exchange
cards while talking to people before a meeting, hand the other person your
card, saying: “I hope you won’t mind if I give you my card, and I would
appreciate having yours, also. I would enjoy discussing some things further
with you, and now is obviously not the time.”
Read the other person’s
card before you put it away, then follow up with a call within a day or two.
Never present your card when the recipient is talking to someone else, hurrying
to an appointment, talking on the telephone, or eating and drinking.
►Cubicle etiquette no-no: A noisy co-worker is driving me crazy
Q. I work in a wing
of office suites with two cubicles for another assistant and me. My neighbor
almost constantly makes noise, tapping pens, making “squeal” noises (“Aaahhh,”
“Hmmmm,” etc.) while she’s reading or whatever, humming, clearing her throat
over and over… it goes on and on.
It’s driving me crazy
listening to this all day. She has already been addressed about the noise
level, and it has improved, but I still have to listen to it all day. Do you
have any suggestions, other than wearing headphones or earplugs?
Letitia: Have a confidential
talk about this problem with your supervisor or someone in human resources.
Don’t be dramatic about it. Just say that you’re supersensitive to noise, and
that your cubicle colleague is driving you nuts.
Mention four noisy
things she does all the time, and then lay off describing her so negatively.
Throw in a compliment or two about how valuable she is in her work. Add that you’ve
tried not to let her noisiness get to you, but it has affected your work. Then,
ask meekly: “Is it possible that either she or I could be moved away from the
other?” Then, follow with “I know I must sound unreasonable to you, but I’m
proud of my work and I don’t wish to be working less than effectively because
of this problem.”
If the boss or human
resources person recognizes how valuable your work is, he or she will honor
your request ... and your noisy co-worker never has to be any the wiser.
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