By Alison Biggar
Women trickled into the United Methodist
Church meeting room in Oakland, Calif., on a cold Thursday evening in February,
bundled up, smiling, ready to practice singing in the Threshold Choir. Although
a crowd diverse in age and style, when the singers began harmonizing, their
voices blended in a way that felt sacred: it was a rare privilege to be listening
to them.
But they say they feel privileged to be doing
what they do, which is to sing at the bedsides of people who are dying, and,
upon occasion, at a baby’s birth or in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where
infants are struggling to live. They quietly sing so as to calm caregivers,
families, even nurses, and to pave a more peaceful journey for persons
approaching death.
“This is not a performance,” says choir member
Kat Stenstedt, “but an offering creating a sacred space around someone.”
An Inspiration of Song
The idea for the Threshold Choir came into
being in 1990, an inspiration of Kate Munger, a songwriter who had sung for a
friend as he lay in a coma, dying of HIV/AIDS (on the Choir’s website Munger
explains that singing was what she would do when she was terrified). Munger
sang to her friend for two and a half hours, and realized this not only
comforted her, but also her friend.
A decade passed before Munger established the
choir in 2000 in El Cerrito, Calif., with 15 women, most of whom are still
active participants. As of last count in 2017, the Choir had 174 chapters
across the United States, in the U.K., and in Australia, New Zealand, Canada and
Thailand. Here at home, chapters are more concentrated in California, the
Northwest, the Mid-Atlantic and the Rocky Mountain regions, though they exist
in all areas of the United States and are continually forming.
Songs are usually written by Choir members,
and typically consist of a simple repetition of a few lines in which singers
can harmonize. The idea is similar to Gregorian chant, but these songs are much
more relatable and the words and phrases vary from upbeat to more peaceful,
depending upon the occasion and recipient. A song written by Agnieszka Wolska
from the Calgary Threshold Choir and sung during the recent rehearsal in
Oakland repeated these lines: “Let love wash over you /Let love wash over
you/Let love wash over you, gently/Let life wash over you/Let life wash over
you/Let life wash over you, gently/Let peace fill you/Let peace fill you/Let
peace fill you, completely.” The songs need to be simple, for the benefit of
their listeners; this also benefits the Choir, which sings several of them in
Spanish translation. During the Thursday rehearsal they also sang a lovely
version of the “Ave Maria” and of the Hebrew blessing “Sim Shalom.”
The two-hour rehearsal was led by song leader
Caryatis Cardea, who broke down new songs into easily digestible pieces,
provided their Spanish translations and urged the singers to practice until
each song grew easier to sing. Singers attending included a doctor, a couple of
teachers, retired women and a psychic. Ages spanned from a newish recruit in
her 20s, to a few singers in their 30s, a smattering of middle-age women and a
majority of older women. The East Bay Chapter has 30 to 40 members, and more
than 20 were practicing that night.
Most of the women there appeared to have some
musical background, some had gorgeous voices and some could read music, while
others were just starting out, didn’t read music and were a bit intimidated by
the material. The Choir is starting to record songs, to help those members who
can’t read music. “We want everyone to be able to be here,” says Cardea.
Threshold singers work to memorize several
songs so that when they finally attend a bedside singing, they can sing
confidently without using a songbook. Stenstedt said many singers spend at
least two years practicing prior to being at a bedside, others spend one year
and some come to rehearsals just for the singing, which she described as
“life-giving.”
In the two-and-a-half years Stenstedt has been
singing with the Choir she hasn’t yet been present at a death, but singing to
someone close to death “can be sacred,” she says, “it’s a vivid, rich, charged
time.”
More than Music—It’s Community
Cardea joined Threshold Choir while Munger was
still leading rehearsals, about 14 and a half years ago, when searching for a
new way to volunteer. Initially concerned that the Choir’s repertoire would be
solely religious music, Cardea soon realized the songs and the women singing
them had diverse spiritual backgrounds—Buddhist, Quaker, Christian, Sikh,
Jewish, pagan and atheist.
At first, Cardea also thought she would just
sing and that would be the crux of her volunteer work, but as the years have
passed, she sees that one of the most valuable assets of the Threshold Choir is
its community. “Some of my closest friends are with the Choir,” she says, and
“I’m in awe of families who hear of this service and call us in. I think how
brave, how incredibly generous to invite strangers into your home at this most
raw and intimate moment.”
The sense of community is strong in this
thoughtful, unique group of women who make up the East Bay Chapter. “This choir
draws the most interesting women,” says Cardea. “[But] it’s … not about us. To
be an asset at the bedside, you have to make sure you’ve dealt … with your own
issues around mortality, so when families are sobbing and breaking down, you’re
able to remain calm. Plus, you need a love of singing and a feeling of being
drawn to use that ability for a greater purpose.”
Threshold in Action
Families of people who are dying seek out the
Threshold Choir via hospice agencies or word of mouth. Also, some Choir members
visit nursing homes and sing to people there who are on hospice. Sometimes,
says Cardea, a family thinks their loved one would want to be sung to, but it’s
not the case. One client reacted, declaring loudly, “No more singing!” when
Cardea and other singers had been invited to her bedside. Others say they feel
they’ve been “surrounded by angels,” says Cardea.
Choir singers try to assess the situation in
advance, ensure that the person is amenable, figure out how many singers might
be optimal (sometimes it’s only two) and attend the bedside once a week for as
long as the client would like. The service is free, but the Choir accepts
donations from families, from Threshold Choir members, or anyone else inspired
to donate.
Cardea relays her first bedside experience,
with her partner’s mother, who was in excruciating pain, moaning, her knees
drawn up, brow furrowed. Cardea started to sing and was astonished to see how
the woman’s brow smoothed out, her knees straightened and she relaxed. “So I
just sang and sang,” she says.
And the outcomes are measurable, Cardea says:
“It’s more than just offering someone some peace. When singing in ICUs or other
settings where patients are hooked up to machines, I could see the numbers on
the machines change, blood pressure comes down, breathing eases—it’s stunning.”
For more information on the Threshold Choir,
visit www.thresholdchoir.org.
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