By Sandee LaMotte, CNN Updated 8:19 AM ET, Thu September 5, 2019
(CNN)Being sleep deprived in today's busy world is almost taken for
granted. In fact, in some circles, it's cause for bragging rights.
Yet science has linked poor slumber with
high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, weight gain, mood swings,
paranoia, depression and a higher risk of diabetes, stroke, cardiovascular
disease, dementia and some cancers.
And just in case you didn't know, it's also a
buzz kill for your libido.
"It's pretty simple," said Laure
Mintz, author of "A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex." "If
you're exhausted and not getting enough sleep your sex drive is going to be
extremely low."
And
then one day it hits you; sleep has overtaken sex as your favorite pastime.
A recent study published in the
Journal of Sexual Medicine followed nearly 4,000 men and women
in their early- to mid-60s for a year and found that poor sleep was associated
with erectile dysfunction for men, and arousal problems and orgasmic difficulty
for women. True, these were older folks, who are more likely to suffer from
sleep apnea (a known culprit for an unhealthy sex life), and overall health
issues that might impact their slumber.
But sleep apnea is on the rise in
younger generations -- especially in men -- and guess what, guys? No matter
what your age, a lack of sleep impacts your levels
of testosterone. Low levels of testosterone can lead to a lack
of sexual desire and erectile dysfunction.
Here's how those are connected: It turns out
that your highest levels of that important hormone occur during REM sleep,
which is the deep, healing sleep that occurs late in the sleep cycle. Your
first REM will last about 10 minutes, but as the night goes on REM stages grow
longer, with the final one lasting up to an hour. So, if you don't sleep long
enough to enter REM sleep, you don't get those restorative levels of
circulating testosterone.
Like men, women need natural testosterone to
keep bones healthy, boost cognition, improve muscle mass and create new red
blood cells. It's believed sleep apnea is widely underdiagnosed in women, so
the lack of quality sleep could well impact their sex drive too.
"Women are particularly at risk for
undiagnosed sleep problems," said clinical psychologist and sleep
expert Michael Breus, "so women who are experiencing problems
with sexual function should have their sleep evaluated."
It works the other way around too, Breus
added. If a woman or a man is under treatment for a sleep disorder, they should
be sure to question their doctors about the potential impact of the disorder on
their sex drive and function.
Still not convinced? One study looked at
171 female college students and found that just one hour of extra sleep a night
increased not only their desire for sex the next day but the likelihood of it
occurring. That single hour lead to a 14% increase in the odds they would have
sex with a partner the next night.
What to do?
It's a no duh: Sleep more! Most adults should
be getting between 7 and 9 hours a night of sleep, according to the National Sleep Foundation.
Of course, we all know that already. Yet one in three American adults do not get
adequate sleep and we're not alone. Sleep deprivation is affecting the health
of up to 45% of the world's population, according to World Sleep Day statistics.
But if you're ready to take some action to get
more shut eye, and hopefully improve your sex life, here's some expert tips:
Practice good sleep hygiene
There are a number of things you can do to
lead to a successful night's sleep, according to the American Sleep Association. Go
to bed and wake up at about the same time, even on weekends. Avoid alcohol --
while a drink might seem a good idea to make you sleepy, you'll wake up in the
middle of the night.
"Don't nap or drink caffeine after 3
p.m.," added sex therapist and educator Laura Berman. "Even nicotine
can affect the quality of your sleep."
Set up a bedtime routine
Part of good sleep hygiene is creating a
bedtime routine, Berman added. Have a warm bath or shower, meditate or read a
book in bed.
"It's a lot like putting a child to
bed," she said, "you want the room dark and cool, with no blue light
for an hour before bed." Yes, that means no TV or computer, she said.
"If you can't fall asleep after about 10
minutes, get up and go to another room to do a quieting activity,"
suggested Berman, who is the host of the nationally syndicated show
"Uncovered Radio."
"Or you could use this time to be
intimate with your partner or yourself," she added. "After all, sex
improves sleep and sleep improves sex."
Practice mindfulness about sex
To better enjoy sex, men and women -- but
especially women -- need to be focused in the moment, which is difficult for
tired, stressed out women and men, said Mintz, who is also a professor of human
sexuality at the University of Florida. To boost the ability to focus, she
tells clients to set an hourly alarm on their cell phone and then take a minute
to think about something sexy.
"Think about a fantasy or a past sexual
experience," she suggested, to begin to set a mood of expectation. And
when it's time to be intimate, she said, it's also time to turn off the
thoughts and focus on immersing yourself in the moment.
Schedule your sex (along with your sleep)
Mintz also suggested trying to schedule sexual
encounters.
"It sounds so unromantic, but it is one
of the best things you can do," she said. "So many women say 'I have
no interest in sex, but it's good when it gets going.'"
Pick a time that's your time, she said, and
put it in your calendar, just as you would if you were scheduling time for the
gym or coffee with a friend.
"We have to get rid of this myth that sex
is only good if it's done spontaneously," Mintz added,"because in
certain life stages, you just aren't going to have spontaneous sex."
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/05/health/sex-drive-desire-satisfaction-sleep-deprivation-wellness/index.html
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