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Key insights from
Setting the Table: The Transforming
Power of Hospitality in Business
By
Danny Meyer
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What you’ll learn
In his book Setting the Table, famous restaurateur
Danny Meyer shares the secret to his success: a concept he calls
enlightened hospitality. Working chronologically through his life until
2005, Meyer reveals his personal triumphs and struggles as he entered and
eventually dominated the restaurant business. He leads the reader through
his journey of building connections, taking risks, and eating plenty of
food, and also breaks down and redefines hospitality. The concept of enlightened
hospitality must apply not only to the waiter-customer relationship, but
also throughout the business. Ultimately, Meyer says the book should not be
viewed as a strict set of rules for success, but his personal story with
advice that will assist and encourage up-and-coming restaurateurs, and
owners of all kinds of businesses.
Read on for key insights from Setting the Table.
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1. For a
restaurant to be truly hospitable, all employees must share a mutual goal.
How does the phrase “I’m on your side” make you feel? A
guest feels hospitality when he believes you’re on his side, when something
is actively being done for the customer rather than to him. Hospitality is
critical when communicating with customers. From the very first interaction
of booking a reservation to the end of the dining experience, the emphasis
must be on “rooting for” the customer. Language can reflect hospitality;
what once was, “There are no tables available at that time,” becomes, “I
will put you on the top of the waitlist, but here is the nearest time I can
reserve a table for you just in case.” A change in phrasing can instantly
strengthen the customer-restaurant relationship.
Actions also reflect hospitality, such as leaving a comment
card with the receipt so customers can share opinions and reviews of the
night with a guaranteed response from the restaurant. When customers feel
they have a stake in the improvement or success of the business, and when
they are treated kindly and respectfully by employees, they feel a greater
sense of loyalty. A cohesively hospitable experience for the diners is key;
all the employees a diner interacts with must craft it.
Of course, this level of cohesion begins with hiring the
right people. The “51 Percent Solution” proves helpful here. It
proposes that 51 percent of a person’s hireability is his or her emotional
ability and capacity for hospitality. The other 49 percent is dedicated to
technical skills. Prioritizing emotional ability over technical ability is
key because while customers want to be treated well and professionally, a
waiter that is also kind, understanding, and accommodating is guaranteed to
make the guests want to return. Technical skills are basic and can be
taught and improved at any time, but there is no way to teach and grow
emotional intelligence.
Technical skills are also highly impersonal and repetitive, and can grow
stiff and robotic. On the other hand, having a professional waiter who also
shines with a bright and welcoming personality puts a guest at ease. Such
hospitality creates the opportunity to build connections and form
relationships, making the restaurant and the dining experience a safe space
for the guests.
After starting and developing a strong core of employees,
growth is inevitable. As a business advances, it must think like a team and
consider what is truly best for the business and for its community,
disregarding the urge to hastily chase novelty. An expansion should never
be considered if it isn’t groundbreaking and exciting, yet still a sure and
beneficial choice. Risk taking is dangerous, especially when businesses
rush. When a spark of passion and inspiration hits, it is difficult yet necessary
to slow down and work through the possible benefits and disadvantages of
the new idea. How will this change affect the business community? If this
change does not benefit the entire business, it is simply not worth it.
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2. Service is not
the same as hospitality.
Would you rather have a waiter who is rigid, mechanical, and
efficient, or one who is welcoming, warm, helpful, and friendly? The first
waiter provides service, while the second provides hospitality. Service is
intended to be universal, while hospitality is “one size fits one.”
Providing it requires emotional ability, which is comprised of six
characteristics: optimistic warmth, intelligence, work ethic, empathy,
self-awareness, and integrity.
Optimistic warmth is the stepping stone from service to
hospitality. Being warm and inviting is critical because it makes the guest
feel that they are heard, understood, and valued. No one likes an
inattentive waiter or one who values other customers first. An
optimistically warm waiter ensures your cup never runs dry, your food is
always to your liking, all accommodations possible are provided, and that
your overall experience is pleasant. It is more than clearing plates, and
is a step up from “invisible” waiters who believe the job ends at serving
food. Optimistic warmth also entails interacting with the customer to
create a relationship and valuable memories, and actively inviting the
customer to return, perhaps to that same waiter’s table. A positive attitude
can be just as beneficial, if not better, than amazing service.
Intelligence and work ethic within hospitality transcend the
requirement to simply “know how to do x, y, and z.” An intelligent and
hospitable employee is ever seeking improvement, always wanting to learn,
and always willing to be taught. When such a person incorporates innovation
and personalization into professionalism, his or her career takes an upward
trajectory. Similarly, a work ethic motivated by hospitality turns a
tasklist into a list of practices an employee “gets” to do rather than
“has” to do. An employee’s main goal should be to do one’s best at work,
rather than just working for money or praise. A hospitable work ethic
necessarily precludes selfishness, allowing the waiter or employee to focus
his or her efforts solely on the customer.
Empathy is a rare gift, and can be difficult to maintain
within a restaurant setting. Many restaurant workers have seen the
backstage workings of the restaurant far too much to be empathetic to a
guest who has complaints. Empathy goes hand-in-hand with self-awareness and
integrity. When patience runs thin, it is critical to know one’s limits and
step away. Maintaining constant hospitality is neither easy nor
sustainable. Like all humans, restaurant employees run out of energy, time,
patience, and restraint. An employee must use his or her best judgment and
have an authentic view of him or herself, even if it requires being aware
of potentially negative attributes. A deep self-awareness cultivates the
best qualities in an employee.
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3. “ABCD: Always
be connecting dots.”
Managers should see each customer as a “dot” and
constantly seek connections between the business and its customers, and
among the customers themselves. Individual qualities such as where
customers are from, their professions, their goals, etc. are opportunities
to improve each customer’s experience, even outside of the business. This
is a key tool in “enlightened hospitality,” as it makes the customers feel
cared for and that they have a stake in the business. Creating shared
experiences brings the customer closer to the business and makes them feel
more at home. In order to have a customer return, he or she has to make
some sort of connection with the business.
Between customers, one can use “benevolent
manipulation” of dots by creating shared spaces for those in similar work
circles to spark conversation and enrich the guests’ experience. Perhaps a
well-known children’s literature author could be seated close to a new
illustrator. If one recognizes the other, a conversation begins and a new
business deal could be made, a collaboration could take place, or one could
have an excellent reference to “bring with me next time I come here.” In a
new restaurant, seating a food critic close to a well-respected friend in
the restaurant business could boost the restaurant’s profile in the
critic’s view, and help him or her understand the eatery’s finer and more
personal nuances.
Connecting dots between customers and employees is
important, too. A waiter who knows some facts about the diners he serves
can create a more enjoyable experience and build common ground and shared
experiences between the guests and the business.
Meyer described one of his own such interactions with a couple from Kansas
City, discussing barbecue sauce. After they shared about the barbecue back
home, Meyer offered them a taste of the new Kansas City-inspired sauce,
eager to learn their opinion. They said it tasted “just like home.” Not
only were the customers’ palates satisfied, but they also left feeling they
had contributed to the restaurant by providing their hometown
impressions of the sauce.
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4. A successful
business is structured bottom-up, with the leader at the base.
No one likes a boss who refuses to interact with his or her
employees. Hospitality is a leader’s dialogue with guests and employees
alike, not a monologue. An inhospitable boss is usually one who leads from
the top down rather than the bottom up. In order to have a successful
business, leadership must prioritize even the lowest level of employees by
working from the bottom up. In the restaurant business, the servers are
most plentiful and in need of the most support. It is critical that these
“front line” employees are immersed in a strong culture of hospitality,
even hospitality directed toward them.
To achieve this, the leader must set the standard and
exemplify how employees must act consistently with the business’s
standards. Everything in a business ripples out from a leader’s actions and
attitude, so he or she must keep employees consistently informed of the
status of the business and any relevant news. Being a successful and
hospitable leader requires constant communication. The leader must be
willing to treat employees with enough respect that he or she actively
shares concerns or praises about the business, and also listens to any
employee’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions. When an employee is the first
face a customer sees at the business, it is critical that the employee
receives the same attention and concern as the customer.
A successful leader shows nine qualities: an
infectious attitude, self-awareness, charitable assumption, a long-term
view of success, a sense of abundance, trust, approving patience and tough
love, not feeling threatened by others, and character. These qualities
combine to create a leader whom employees love because of his or her
willingness to hear concerns, be involved in the business directly, and
mirror the qualities he or she wants the business to reflect.
From a bottom-up perspective, imagine the leader as the seeds of a great
plant. The leader must ensure that he or she is the “right seed” before
growing a business. The petal, an employee, cannot be responsible for
determining the plant.
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5. Business
problems are inevitable.
A business’s success is not determined by a lack of
mistakes, but by how the business recovers from and actively solves
problems. Imagine a surfer. A good surfer develops skill by conquering
increasingly intense waves, not by avoiding them. Solving problems enhances
skills and prepares a business for more pressing challenges in the
future.
Many problems can be solved quietly and quickly when a
customer isn’t involved, but how should an employee handle a customer who
was served spoiled lettuce in a salad? The “5 A’s” —awareness,
acknowledgement, apology, action, and additional generosity—can be useful
tools to not only solve a problem, but to leave the customer happier than
before.
Awareness is intentional. If a business chooses to turn a
blind eye to a problem, that only causes more problems and an unsuccessful
business. A business that refuses to grow will never get far. In a similar
manner, when a business is aware of a slip-up, admitting the mistake is
critical. Then, one must begin a narrative with the disgruntled customer
and make an apology.
A sincere apology makes it clear that a business would never
intentionally treat a customer in an inhospitable manner. From there, the
business can take action and try to fix the mistake, attempting to restore
the customer experience to its condition before the mistake occurred.
Nonetheless, the business still has an opportunity to go above and beyond
and reach out one more time to give additional generosity to the customer.
For example, instead of only receiving a replacement salad, the customer is
also given a free entree.
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6. Hospitality is
a cycle.
The key to success isn’t always prioritizing the customer. A
successful business is a cycle of hospitality between employees, guests,
community, suppliers, and investors. First, employees must learn how to be
hospitable to each other. A business needs to operate as a team, and each
member has a duty to look out for one another. When employees have healthy
and productive relationships at work, they are more likely to deliver
better hospitality and service. Once that foundation is set, the business
is equipped to deliver great service to guests. Hospitality must remain a
dialogue, so servers are not called to perform a distant show for the
guests, but to communicate and interact with guests, making them feel that
they have an equal stake in the business’s success. The goal of a server is
to end the night with an improved relationship with his or her guests.
A business and its suppliers should have common values and
standards. Working details such as shipping dates and price points can
usually be negotiated and adjusted. Likewise, investors in the
business must share common values with existing business leadership, to
foster trust and smooth operations.
Everything has a ripple effect, and a business affects its
community. When a business—especially a restaurant—is successful, guests
want to share their experiences. Employees of that business want to spread
the word, recruiting not only guests but future employees. When businesses
invest in the community, they are also investing in themselves. When a
restaurant hospitably invests in its community, it opens up more
opportunities for growth and attracts new customers.
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Endnotes
These insights are
just an introduction. If you're ready to dive deeper, pick up a copy of Setting
the Table here. And since we get a commission on
every sale, your purchase will help keep this newsletter free.
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