How you impact people depends on how you treat them.
We live
in a world with a lot of disagreement. And, in my opinion, that's OK.
Varying, even opposing, perceptions and ideas often lead us to
the greatest results--both in life and at work.
However, I recently witnessed a small dispute between a customer and a waiter
at a restaurant that made me think about our ability, or inability, to disagree
with someone without getting personal. In this case, the disagreement was over
the check. The two parties did not reach an agreement. The waiter politely
caved and changed the charges on the bill. And, at first, the whole scenario
seemed pretty well-mannered. But then something ugly happened. As the two men
separated ways, both called the other person curse words.
While
it's true that these men may deserve the spirited labels given to them, I couldn't
help but wonder if they had had enough conversation throughout their brief
meeting to get any sense of who the other person truly was. Were they calling
each other horrible names simply because they disagreed over a number?
On
television, we watch reality-TV stars argue with one another. On social
media, I see people who label others over everything from political
affiliations to favorite sports teams to what kind of car they
drive. And, from my time speaking to managers and employees around the
world, I know these ugly disagreements are happening in the workplace as
well--many of them.
So,
here are my two questions. Can we disagree and still be kind? And, as leaders,
wouldn't that make us more effective?
Kindness
may sound like a weakness in our survival-of-the-fittest world. Researchers
have long studied the impact kindness can have on our own happiness--which
seems like it would improve our ability to lead. Researchers at the University
of Oxford recently analyzed hundreds of published papers that studied the
relationship between kindness and happiness. They found 21 studies that
explicitly prove that being kind to others makes us happier. And a study
from the University of Warwick revealed that happy
people at work are 12 percent more productive than unhappy people. These are
great things to know. But can kindness at work also elevate your leadership?
Here
are three ways I've found that simple kindness could bring you more success as
a leader at work.
1. Appreciation
inspires greater results.
Being
kind means you sincerely celebrate the successes of others at work. You
actually care. Global research from
my own firm, O.C. Tanner Institute, reveals that when employees were asked
what the one thing their boss or company could give them that would inspire
them to strive for great results, recognition was, hands down, the number one
answer. It was bigger than pay increases, promotions, training, and autonomy.
Celebrating the achievements of others is being kind. It turns out, it also
inspires great results.
2. Connection leads to
better ideas.
It
would make sense that kind people would have an easier time networking and
making more sincere connections--because they care about the people they meet.
But there's more to it than that. Our research also found that 72 percent
of award-winning projects involve people talking to, and asking questions of,
people who may not be in their inner circle. They care to discover the opinions
of people who may not know anything about their current project, and appreciate
the opinions of people who may disagree with them or dislike their ideas.
That's kindness--gaining the perception of someone else, whether they agree
with you or not.
3. Correction can
improve relationships.
As
leaders, sometimes it's our responsibility to let others know when they're not
meeting expectations. And corrective conversations are rarely considered
to be acts of kindness. But leaders who express kindness, and a sincere
desire to help an employee become their best, build stronger relationships with
their people. In fact, a 10-year study by Harvard
Business Review reveals that the number one thing holding back
second-rate executives is their inability to create trusting relationships.
We live
in a world with a lot of disagreement. We all have our own opinions, ideas, and
perceptions. Within .45 seconds, a Google search of "leadership"
returns 2.1 billion results. Obviously, there's a seemingly endless
amount of information available for us all to learn about becoming better
leaders. However, the moment we forget that our first responsibility as a
leader is to actually care about the success of others is the moment we
fail. Better leadership starts with simple kindness--in life and at work.
Ralph
Waldo Emerson may have said it best. "You can not do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late."
Published On: Jun 4, 2018
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those
of Inc.com.
https://www.inc.com/todd-nordstrom/research-says-kindness-can-make-you-a-better-leader-here-are-3-reasons-why.html?cid=sf01003&_lrsc=65aaa2e1-b872-47b4-9ffc-617e7ee0e3a6&cid=soc-linkedin-elevate
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