Micah Solomon
Senior Contributor May 29, 2020,02:53pm EDT
In the unprecedented losses we’ve suffered so suddenly as a
country, a large part of the burden, both logistical and emotional, has fallen
on the funeral industry, sometimes called deathcare. These
professionals–funeral directors and their employees–often serve in small,
customer service-focused family businesses that have been an element of their
communities over the course of multiple generations.
Suddenly, they have
been called on, in some regions, to do as many funerals in the course of just a
week or two as they would more typically carry out in an entire year–and to do
so in the face of limited facilities and essential social distancing restrictions.
This week, I caught
up with two professionals serving on the front lines: Walker Posey of Posey Funeral Directors in North
Augusta, South Carolina and David Lee Hernandez, Jr. of the Jersey Memorial Group of New
Jersey, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia. Anthony Kaniuk, a 20-year veteran of
the funeral profession, also contributed his insights to this article. Kaniuk
is the Senior Business Development Executive at the National Funeral
Directors Association (NFDA), an industry organization that
provides a support, training, and a shared code of standards for its members,
who include both of the funeral directors contributing to this article.
Micah Solomon,
Forbes Senior Contributor, Customer Service Consultant and Keynote Speaker: When
I consider the industries that have a customer service focus at their core, the
funeral industry is certainly one where you’re serving customers at a moment
that is both high-stress and emotionally sensitive.
David Lee
Hernandez, Jr., Principal, Jersey Memorial Group: Being
a funeral director is a lifestyle choice, attracting people who are by nature
caregivers, who will drop everything to rush to the aid of the family in need.
Death care is about putting that family and its priorities first. One of the
positives of this job is that during difficult loss and hardship you will truly
develop friendships with the families you serve.
Walker Posey,
Owner/Director, Posey Funeral Directors: Customer
experience is at the center of our profession. Many times, this begins before a
death has occurred and extends to well after the service is over. At the end of
the day, simply treating our customers as we would want to be treated is the
golden rule that stands the test of time.
Anthony Kaniuk,
Senior Business Development Executive, National Funeral Directors
Association (NFDA): You will not find a group of
people who are more compassionate and dedicated. Funeral directors serve
families in their communities 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I tell my own
children: if you ever need help and there is a funeral home/funeral director
nearby, ask them to help.
*******
Solomon: In what ways has
the COVID-19 pandemic made providing service particularly challenging?
Hernandez: The most difficult
part has been the delays in disposition at the cemeteries and crematories, so
we have provided opportunities to visit and keep families connected. Sadly,
services in the funeral home have been limited and clergy and families have not
even been permitted in the cemeteries, so we’ve constructed mock “gravesites”
on our grounds where we could still provide, in cars, the feeling of a service,
which families have been very grateful for.
It has been very
difficult for us as professionals to not have the personal interaction with
families face to face. There’s just something about a dialogue in person, a
feeling for their needs that you learn to pick up over time that is lost.
Posey: In “hot
zones,” the case load has been so overwhelming that it has presented real
logistical challenges for funeral homes. In these areas, such as New York and
Detroit, funeral directors are to be commended for the valiant way they’ve
risen to the extreme challenges placed before them.
In areas of
the country where the caseload has not been as severe, our challenge has been
helping families understand that while, due to social distancing, we may not be
able to have the presence of their friends to support them, we can provide, via
alternative means, the same elements of ceremony and ritual that make the
funeral experience meaningful, and provide the healing moments that will be so
beneficial in the difficult days to come.
Kaniuk: in some areas,
including New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut, the sheer volume and the speed
with which the deaths have occurred is incredibly challenging. Some funeral
homes in those areas did a year’s worth of funerals in a few weeks’ time, and
the overwhelming numbers and speed of the deaths in some locales has had a huge
impact on cremations at local crematories; some families are waiting weeks for
a loved-one to be cremated due to limited crematories. I’ve personally had two
close friends who have lost family members: one lost her sister and the other
lost his father. It was very difficult for me being in funeral service yet not
being able to be there for either of them. PPE (Protective Personal Equipment)
has been very hard for funeral directors to get as well.
*******
Solomon: Has your
organization, the NFDA, been stepping up here to offer crisis support to your
members?
Kaniuk: Yes, including via
the efforts of NFDA’s affiliated foundation, the Funeral Service Foundation and
its COVID-19 Crisis Response Fund. This has two pillars of support: emergency
assistance and grief support. Designed to be flexible, the fund provides grants
for immediate needs within funeral service, including emergency response to
significant loss of life; grants to organizations providing services and
resources to families with unresolved and complicated grief due to loss during
this crisis; and grants for other important needs as funeral service continues
to serve families during this rapidly evolving crisis.
*******
Solomon: Even pre-COVID,
there have been multiple technological developments affecting the nature of
funerals, correct?
Posey: In
addition to being a funeral director myself, I serve as a consultant for
companies that are working to provide better tools needed to improve the
experience around funerals today, so this is a subject close to my heart.
Today’s technologically-delivered solutions, like virtual tributes, live
streaming of services and virtual grief tools, are important developments that
are valuable in less stressful times and are certainly even more so as a result
of the gathering restrictions due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Another area where
technology can be transformational is when it can assist in planning services.
We are working to create a virtual environment where families can work with our
directors to plan services from the comfort of their own homes with the same
level of care and professionalism they receive in person at our location. Our
goal is never to replace human interaction; rather it is to help families have
a more manageable experience around funeral planning so that they can worry
less about logistics and spend more time being supported by those they love.
Kaniuk: A member of
ours [a funeral director] recently told me about a service he did for a family
on Facebook Live that was viewed by 4,800. This wouldn’t have happened in the
traditional way, even pre-COVID. We also see funeral directors share
enhancements to memorial video with apps like Tukios’ Send Hugs, where a family and
friends can send “hugs” to a family that has lost a loved one during this time.
We also see more funeral directors using online research and planning tools. As
Walker mentioned, families have been able to do planning in the comfort of
their own homes with services like efuneral. The National
Funeral Directors Association also has a central resource, Remembering a Life, where families
can find resources, tools and answers to questions to help their own families
or friends during the loss of a loved-one.
*******
Solomon: I know this can be
personal, but would you share a story of you or a colleague going the extra
mile in providing customer service?
Posey: There
are so many stories to share where our directors have done something for a
family or family member that has turned out to be so meaningful and healing to
them, but what sticks out in this moment is an experience I had not long ago: A
young mother of three had died unexpectedly and tragically. At her service, her
young son, who had been with her when she died, came over to me and
unexpectedly gave me the biggest hug. Soon his brother came over and I was
blessed to spend a few minutes simply explaining what all these things at the
cemetery were: the casket, burial vault, the device that lowers the casket into
grave, etc. As I took those few minutes to help them understand what we were
doing and why, you could see a small glimmer of understanding come over them.
My heart was so full of concern for them that I could not hold back the tears.
While I don’t consider this going an extra mile, I do think it illustrates the
importance of being observant and just being there for those
we serve, both young and old.
*******
Hernandez: A woman lost her
husband of 60 years unexpectedly at home in the middle of the current pandemic.
It was then that I realized just how much more difficult it must be to grieve
in solitude: alone in the home they’d shared for 60 years, all his things
around her, his smell, the photos, no place to escape, no human interaction;
just her and her grief.
She would call in
multiple times a day asking for him back and if we were taking good care of
him. We went grocery shopping for her and sending food to her house, and I left
her a card that said, “We are taking just as good of care of your husband as of
you.” Now, the phone calls of pain have gone; now I receive a call every other
day just asking how my day is going– she’s checking in on me, to
see how I’m doing! Odd times, but friendships and connections are still
possible.
*******
Solomon: Do you have any
thoughts for those of my readers who might consider going into this industry?
Posey: The job can be
demanding, so make sure you love what you do. It is also crucial that you
understand that our social culture is rapidly changing and we must prepare to
meet the consumer where they are. Find a progressive, service-oriented firm and
go to work.
Hernandez: It’s a
ministry. If you don’t understand what that means, it’s servant leadership. If
you don’t know what that means, it’s putting people first. If that resonates
with you, you might not have the biggest wallet, but you’ll be in the richest person
in the room.
Kaniuk: If you want
to make a difference and add value first without expectation, the industry will
welcome your passion and drive for doing so. Conversely, I would caution you to
remember that it is a business, so don’t get caught up only in
working in the business, but remember to be working on your
business as well–including by staying in tune with your cash flow statements
and doing SWOT [Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats] analysis
frequently.
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