Sex is
good for you. But it can be hard to jumpstart a physical relationship that's
been dormant for years.
Yes, it happens. At
some point, the sex you enjoyed in your younger years simply fades away. First
it becomes less robust, then less frequent, and eventually your libido goes
into hibernation for the long winter that is the rest of your life — or so it
seems.
We proffer a plethora
of excuses for why our sex life goes MIA — stress, physical exhaustion,
hormonal changes that accompany aging — but the sad and hideous truth remains
that many of us just reach the point where we actually prefer to diddle with
our cell phones instead of our partners in bed.
I’m here to make the
case that sex is good for
you. It is so good, in fact, that if everyone could just have more
of it, we’d probably be looking at world peace — or, at very least, lower blood
pressure. But I’ll be the first to admit: It can be hard to jumpstart a
physical relationship that has been dormant for years. Here are some tips to do
precisely that.
1. Let modern
medicine help
Yes, we know that
every drug has some side effects. I’d counter with so does not having
sex.
Men may need an
assist from a prescription drug like Cialis or Viagra to treat erectile
dysfunction, but women also need to own up to their thinning vaginal tissues.
Without toughening up those babies, sexual penetration is going to feel like a
million tiny paper cuts — maybe not even that good.
A shortcut taken in
the physical preparedness area can result in discouraging outcome.
A prescription of
Estrace or Premarin cream can work wonders to treat vaginal atrophy. In all
cases, it starts with a visit to your doctor to see what will aid the mission
safely. Do this about a month out to allow for optimum results. A shortcut
taken in the physical preparedness area can result in discouraging
outcome.
Oh, and an active sex
life may not come cheap. Traditional Medicare (Parts A and B) won’t pay for the
meds you might need. Medicare Part D,
the program that covers prescription drugs, may — but that varies from plan to
plan. Your best bet may be to look into prescription discount cards affiliated
with pharmacies. And always ask your doctor for free samples.
2. Bring on the toys
Sex toys have grown
up since you last checked them out, which if you are of a certain age, may have
been never. Much to what I suspect is the delight of my UPS delivery guy, they
don’t even all come in discreet brown boxes any more.
Start by visiting
various sex toy websites as
a couple, which is a way better use of your cell phone in bed than playing
Solitaire. And yes, by all means, order whatever appeals.
3. Do what you do to
relax, but do more to rev up your engine
Relaxation aids can
be found in many forms. Hot baths, wine, weed where it’s legal. Personally
speaking, all that does is put me to sleep, which isn’t exactly the goal here.
When restarting a sex life, err on the wild(er) side.
Can we all just agree
that when it comes to great sex, naughty generally trumps nice? Aim to spice
things up. Leave the panties home when you go out to a romantic restaurant for
dinner and trust me, nobody will want to order dessert. Or drive separately and
“meet” for drinks. Book a hotel room at the last minute and check in sans
luggage.
4. Make each other
the main course
In all our rushing
around and living life at break-neck speeds, we lose sight of our priorities.
And for the purpose of reconnecting with our absent sex lives, those priorities
are one another.
Pay attention to the
details of what matters to you and your partner. I know a woman who can’t enjoy
sex if the sheets aren’t freshly washed — and always puts a towel down to
ensure they stay that way. She raised four sons and did what she calls “a
lifetime of man-laundry” and isn’t eager to do more.
Another friend is a
lights-out-or-forget-about-it diehard. She says a lit room messes with her
ability to imagine sex as she knew it decades ago. Morning sex? Another friend
questions whether it is even physically possible to have spontaneous sex in the
morning without first having a chance to pee.
5. Just do it
The bottom line: If
you’ve read this far, it means you’re thinking about it. That’s a good first
step.
Now take the second
one.
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